Despite all the myths, opinions and possibilities it is best to bring this subject down to a level everyone can understand. Think of the body as a Bank account if you put in more money than you take out then there is a surplus of calories, or extra money in the account. Alternatively, if you make a calorie withdrawal there is a deficit or loss of money to the account. The currency of the body is calories, which equates to the money in a bank. If you make regular large calorie deposits the bank will not hold the money but will send it to large vaults to be stored. Over time this wealth accumulates and can make you a fat cat in financial terms. The body however can similarly store large regular deposits or smaller deposits and over an accumulated time these stores are kept as body fat. That which we call in various savings plans as a "cellulite account", "double chin investments" and other savings options, e.g. "fat belly pension plan" or the premier "wobbly body savings account" which is especially for those making large deposits on a regular basis and who have no need for the funds to be withdrawn quickly as no customs or excise is due.

Calories comprise the currency we are talking about and they are the same as dollars to Americans or Francs to the French and are calories or Pound Notes to YOU. Now, all exercise is designed to use up these deposits so that the amount going in is equal to the amount coming out as the body has already got its 10 or 20 pounds it needs for a rainy day. (Women keep an additional 10% in their account than men for childbirth, and energy income requirements). Aerobics have taken on a new meaning since Jane Fonda found fame in tight Lycra jumping around a wooden- floored hall, but in actual fact aerobics means energy with oxygen and that means using fats (your deposits) with oxygen to provide energy. Now the solution to all is you must withdraw MORE calories than you absorb, whether you do this with protein fat or alcohol it is still calories the body recognises. Fats have got a bad name because they carry high density calories at 9 per gram, so the higher the fat intake the higher the calorie intake. Hence higher deposits yielding more fat think as fat as a £50 note and protein and carbohydrate deposits think as a £20 note as it is about the same ratio. Alcohol deposits would boost up calorie intake making them equal to about £30 in comparison.

Calorie conversion:
1 Fat calorie = £50
1 Alcohol calorie = £30
1 protein calorie = £20
1 carbohydrate calorie = £20

These would be your deposits daily, and your task should be working out what your expenses and living cost requirements are, e.g.(how many calories you ARE eating) and what your withdrawals are, e.g. how many calories you are using. If you need to reduce the deposits take out the fat fifty pounders first from the bank and withdraw the alcohol £30s as often as possible from the cash machine.

You could also do a bank transfer, by transferring your funds, filling in your C.V and depositing it into a gym or by filling in a form and using the machines provided in the gym to lower your fat deposits. Also deductible are charity events, like a sponsored walk, or a sponsored tennis game, squash, or even where you give your calories for free.

The biggest myth is "calories don't count"... BUT THEY DO!! How to achieve the optimum account is the clever part!! Also "calories can only help as part of a calorie controlled diet". Mmmmmm and who's doing that?

Suggested Web site is "caloriecontrolcouncil.com" A good site but be aware that it is sponsored by "Saccharine" - a sugar-replacement Company which is a way to reduce calories but will not treat the underlying cause of obesity which is the failure to obtain a proper understanding of calories.

Good Health!